You’ve met someone. It’s early days, but the toothbrush has migrated, the spare key has been copied, and now there’s talk of “maybe I’ll just bring a few things over.”
You’re splitting meals, making weekend plans and your Spotify algorithm is now suspiciously romantic. It feels natural, like life is beginning to mesh.
Before you know it, his mountain bike is living in your garage and you are finding his dog’s hair in your toiletry bag.
It’s romantic. It’s fun. And somewhere, just behind the butterflies and Saturday market runs, there’s a quiet little voice whispering: But what happens if this doesn’t last?
Here’s the thing: talking about a prenup can actually be romantic. It says “I love you enough to want clarity, fairness and a plan for us.” Just like talking about contraception is part of caring for each other, so is making sure your financial future is protected.
Why That Voice Matters
As both a relationship property lawyer and a hopeless romantic, I’ll tell you this: that voice is not a buzzkill. It’s your inner grown-up. The same one who sets up auto-pay for the power bill and checks that your insurance is up to date.
Loving someone doesn’t mean you throw all sense out the window, especially when that window faces the mortgage you’ve been paying on your own for the past five years.
Having the “what if” conversation doesn’t mean you’re predicting separation or divorce. It means you respect each other enough to plan for all possibilities. In fact, clarity can take pressure off. It allows love to be love, without financial fear humming in the background.
What a Prenup Really Does
This is where a Relationship Property Agreement comes in. You might know it by its less romantic names: a prenup or Contracting Out Agreement.
In simple terms, a prenup is a written agreement between two people in a relationship about who owns what, and what would happen to those things if the relationship ended.
Without one, New Zealand law assumes that after living together for three years (and sometimes sooner), everything is shared 50/50. Yes, even if the house is in your name, the deposit came from your Nana, and you’ve been the one making every mortgage payment.
With a prenup, you and your partner decide your own terms instead of being stuck with the legal default (which, by the way, was drafted in the 1970s). An agreement is flexible, private, and here’s the kicker: it often strengthens the relationship, because you both know exactly where you stand.
Love Generously, Plan Wisely
So if you’re in love, yay. And if you’re thinking, I want this to work, but I also want to feel secure, that’s not weird. That’s wonderful.
A prenup isn’t about expecting separation or divorce. It’s about protecting your peace of mind while you build a future together.
-Sarah Moon, Founder of Clean Break
Ready to Take the Next Step?
At Clean Break, we specialise in relationship property law. Whether you want to learn more about prenups, or you’re already living together and wondering what your options are, we can help.
If you’re ready for clarity, book a Smart Start Consultation with Sarah Moon, our senior lawyer. You’ll leave with a plan and peace of mind.
Comments (0)