Can we DIY our Relationship Property Division?
When a marriage or relationship ends, one of the biggest questions is: what happens to the property we shared?
If things are amicable, you might wonder whether you and your ex can simply work it out yourselves, without involving a divorce lawyer. The short answer is: yes, you can. But before you go down the DIY path, it’s important to understand how relationship property law works and when it’s best to get professional help.
Before you start DIYing
You will get more value out of meeting with your lawyer at the beginning of the process, rather than at the end. Your lawyer will identify all the things that you need to think about, to make sure you never regret the agreement you reach. If you get good advice at the very start, you can do something with the information you get, rather than feeling stuck with what you have already agreed to.
Why DIY Can Work
If you and your ex-partner are on good terms, negotiating your own relationship property division can feel straightforward. It allows you to stay in control of the process, save money, and make decisions together rather than relying on the Family Court or lawyers back/forth.
But even with amicable separations, there’s a catch: unless your agreement is formalised through lawyers, it isn’t binding against anyone. This means that either of you could potentially change your mind years down the track after your relationship has soured. They might even make a claim to property you got after the break-up.
A relationship property lawyer can help make sure you’re protected.
Do You Need a Formal Agreement?
If you want your agreement to be binding, you do. Legislation says that any agreement between you and a current or former spouse must meet all these requirements:
- It must be in writing.
- Both of you must sign it.
- Before signing, each person has received independent legal advice.
- Two different lawyers (one for each of you) must give a certificate confirming they have explained the agreement to you.
Banks in Nelson (and across New Zealand) will also usually require a binding relationship property agreement if you’re applying for a mortgage to buy out your ex or purchase a new home after separation.
When is DIY not suitable?
DIY is fantastic when it works (particularly when you get advice early before your negotiations). However, we don’t recommend it if:
- There has ever been emotional pressure or threats made during your relationship – particularly around money stuff;
- If you earn very different amounts of money and have been together for a long time;
- If the property situation is more complicated than a 50/50 spilt of a house, KiwiSaver and a couple of cars; and
- If talking about the property spilt yourselves is difficult due to poor or unhelpful communication patterns.
If this sounds familiar, it may be time to talk to a divorce lawyer in Nelson. A lawyer can protect your rights, reduce pressure, and explain your options.
Our DIY Package
At Clean Break, we understand that not every divorce or separation needs a drawn-out legal process. That’s why we offer a fixed fee DIY Package for people who want to handle things directly, work on an informed basis, and have a binding relationship property agreement.
The DIY Package is perfect for amicable separations with straightforward assets such as a house, mortgage, bank accounts, KiwiSaver, or cars.
You are given the tools you need to reach an agreement between yourselves, and we take care of the legally required steps to make it binding and enforceable. (Your ex will still need to get independent advice from another lawyer. We can recommend some great lawyers for them to approach who will also be mindful of your legal costs).
Our DIY Package a simple, affordable option for couples in Nelson and beyond who want to move forward with certainty and peace of mind.
Final Thoughts
Yes, you can DIY a relationship property division after separation or divorce — but it only works if you follow the correct process and get the right support. A legally binding agreement protects you both and ensures you can move on with confidence.
👉 Book a Separation Consult with our team to see if the DIY option is right for you.
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